A Visit From St. Clickolas - 2021 – Mike Schaffner Photography

“A Visit From St. Clickolas” was my Christmas present to you last year. It was a wee bit of doggerel in a feeble attempt to wish you Merry Christmas! You’d think I learned my lessons after all the requests to to never do that again. Well what can I say? I’ve decided to update if for 2021. I can hear the groans already. So again, with the profoundest of apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, I give to you (some might say inflict you with), “A Visit From St. Clickolas – 2021“.

A Visit From St. Clickolas – 2021

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house;
The only sound you heard, was the click of my mouse,
RAW files were cataloged in Lightroom with care;
In hopes that I could find them sometime, somewhere.
Mamma and I were settling down for a rest;
Still debating if Canon or Nikon is really the best,
When through the window I heard such a noise;
I had to reduce it because you know it annoys:
The noise was so loud it instantly awoke us;
I put on my glasses to let my eyes auto-focus
Away to the window I flew in a dash;
Knowing full well, Windows is likely to crash,
Using auto-ISO on the new-fallen snow;
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what on my camera monitor did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
Strangely, the sleigh looked lighter than it did last year;
Would this be a Christmas without lots of new gear?
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Click.
He flies long distances and all at night;
But he sees his way with his trusty Speedlite,

More rapid than burst mode his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Adams! now, Lange! now Maier and Leibovitz!
On, Capa! on, Karsh! on, Daguerre and Stieglitz!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now flash away! flash away! flash away all!”
Down through the chimney he came with a plop;
Only fitting ‘cuz his belly he did crop.
He started to come in but hesitated,
Till he shyly asked if I was vaccinated.
My wife was there so I introduced her;
Then proudly proclaimed, “Oh yes, with even the booster!”
So, I reassured him that he didn’t have to ask;
Since it was the same for him, it was ok to come in not wearing a mask.
The convo continued on this path of gloom;
Because he said he brought new masks in Adobe Lightroom.
I started to shake, shiver and spasm;
Because if it’s Adobe, it’s a process you cannot fathom.
My ignorance was so large, I pleaded the fifth;
I hadn’t a clue about “intersect with”.
My PC is old and there’s a task I’ve been dreadin’;
What I’ll have to do so it can run the new Windows 11.
Maybe in his kindness Santa will take mercy on me;
And bring me a shiny new Win-11 PC.
A new PC can help me avert a big disaster;
And let me make bad photos oh so much faster.
His smile was warm but his eyes were all red;
He stayed up all night editing instead of going to bed,
And with a bag full of gear, he had yet to wrap;
Muttering “Where did I put that g%^ d#$% lens cap”,
The presents were scattered, but he hadn’t a care;
He just cleaned it up, with content-aware,
Laying out the presents he said not a word;
Composing them of course to the rule of thirds.
Looking around I saw no sign of a brand-new phone;
A new lens or even a drone.
I meant to bring more was his constant refrain:
But like us all, he got caught by the supply chain.
The elves are working hard he explained;
But they’re tired and their patience is strained.
There’s much in the workshop the elves don’t like;
Things are so bad; they’re threatening to strike!
I’ve been a good boy there is no denying;
But to get a mirrorless I’ll just have to keep trying.
If you didn’t get that new software or shiny new gear;
All he can say is, “Maybe next year.”
And although you didn’t get that new camera or lens;
At least this year you can celebrate with family and friends.
Don’t let the lack of shiny new things make you pout;
Because being with family this year is really what it’s all about.
For all that new gear I’m happy to wait;
Being with family is what I’ll celebrate.
Not getting new toys is no reason for stressin’
‘Cuz appreciating family is the season’s real lesson.
I thanked him for this and wished him good cheer;
The lesson he taught me will last me all year.
Soon I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all Good Light!”