Mom

Mom is dead. Three simple words. Simple, but profoundly heart-breaking. There is no sugar-coating that reality.

Last Tuesday mom passed peacefully at 101. She lived a long and full life. However, a long life is not always an easy life. The past few years have been tough for her. At 95 with their ability to live independently declining, mom and dad moved into an assisted living facility. Although they knew that was best for them it was a difficult transition. As they aged further, mobility, eyesight, and hearing diminished even more. My dad’s death in 2020 was especially hard on mom. They were married 75 years. Covid made things worse with its forced loneliness and lack of human interaction. She endured it all with the strength and stoicism that is the hallmark of her generation. I can only take comfort in knowing that she is now at peace and not suffering.

Many others have or will face the harsh reality of losing a parent. But this is one time when there is no solace in knowing others have or will face the same thing. Her death was not a surprise. At 101 and in failing health we all knew what would be happening. But knowing really doesn’t make it easy. I’m just glad I got to see her one last time before her death to tell her I love her.

A Mother’s Love

Mothers more than anyone else, mold and guide a child into the type of person they become as an adult. I’m no different. It is because of her the good things that I am flourished and the bad things that I could have been did not. I just hope I can live up to her wishes for me. The last thing any child wants is to disappoint their mother. They say a mother’s love means you could never really disappoint them. I tried my best not to test that ideal. I take comfort in knowing she loved me despite all my many faults.

The Portrait

The shot above is one of my favorite photos of her. It’s a candid portrait of mom at 93. What I like is that wry smile of her which conveys her true spirit and personality. Like dad’s portrait I tried to emulate the style of Andrzej Dragan using the deconstructed process of Howard Pinsky. I really like the high-contrast tones in Dragan’s photo. Pinsky isn’t the only to try to deconstruct Dragan’s process. You can google “Dragan effect” to find alternative processes. All are similar so find one you like and adjust it to meet your needs.

As I said about dad’s portrait,

I know this will never hang on anyone’s wall other than my family’s and that’s okay. For me, the driving force in making photos is the personal meaning and feelings I derive from the work. If someone else likes them and finds meaning in them that’s a nice added benefit. I believe the purpose of art is to create an emotional response and that’s true even if it is only for us as the photographer. Sometimes we simply need to create art for ourselves; it’s good for the soul.

Goodbye mom, I love you.

Leave A Comment And Share

Have you made any special portraits of your parents? I’d love to hear your comments and feedback. Please leave a comment in the comment box below.